Commuter’s Dilemma

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I do commute a lot, not only that it is economical, it is also the most sensible thing you could ever do once faced with the horrors of Manille traffic. I have tried almost every kind of public transportation, from jeepneys to planes, from cabbies and ferries, but the longest standing relationship I have had was with trains, MRT (Metro Rail Transit) and LRT (Light Rail Transit) alike. In my countless years of experience, I have almost encountered every and other type of commuter, their woes and dramas inside the train. I made a short list (you see I like making lists and blog about them lol!) of commuter stereotypes. This may serve as a warning to avoid them once you spot ’em on the platform. Hahaha!

The Stench

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Who would not notice this kind of commuters, with their head-turning and offending odors! It’s like their smell is virtually punching you from a distance. Take extra caution because these people are a bit tricky. Do not fall prey since some are even neat and goodlooking. Calibrating your olfactometer is the key defence against a Stench.

The Boisterous

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Gone are the days where the trains are conducive for bookworms. Even if you have the luxury of space, once you have these rowdy people around, might as well keep the paperback back in the bag. Always accompanied by a group of friends, the Boisterous laughs and talks as if she owns the train. You can even hear the whole story of her ex-boyfriend, or her peculiar neighbor, or her series of unfortunate events at work. So uncouth! Avoid them at earshot. This group of friends are relentless talkers, can’t expect them to suddenly stop, unless they get off the train.

The Love Bugs

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I admire these couples for still being able to do their“thing” despite the spatial constraints. Nevermind that the factor of comfort isn’t present at all, smooching and hugging and kissing saga continues. And once the horde of incoming passengers gets in, these Romeo and Juliet-ish freaks will play “You and Me Against The World”. Romeo overly protecting his Juliet as if everybody else is interested to get a piece of her (no way!). My self-righteous subconscious is shouting right at the woman, “if he really loves you, and wants to protect you, he will hail a cab or even buy a car for the both of you.” Uggggh I hate these Romantics!

The Savage

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Talk about having no breeding at all, the Savage will definitely crush whoever comes their way. Their rhetoric: “kung maarte ka, mag taxi ka!” (if you are fussy, go get a cab!). Mister, before, the MRT goes only to the poor and thrifty but now even the affluent and the famous (Anne Curtis for one) ride the train to avoid the pains of the traffic. So stop preaching with bravado and go get some manners!

The Beachy

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Pun intended. The female counterpart of the Savage, Beachies are like land mines just waiting to be stepped on. Unconsciously bump on them and you’ll see a war coming. I once had an encounter with a woman (who’s certainly is a Beach), when I accidentally bumped her with my speedy and she turned into a ferocious monster spewing fire over my glorious self. Thanks to my erudition, I have avoided an almost cat fight incident. Avoid them at all cost!

The Elitist

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I certainly belong here. The Elitists are a bunch of mishaps who are left with no other options but to take the train to avoid the fangs of 3rd World traffic. Often seen with finer things, the Elitists are not afraid to strut their Antigonas and Neverfulls while standing amongst the masses. Usually with earphones stuck, shades down and tweeting, these erudites are reclused from the rest of the passengers. Unfortunately, they are the prime targets of hooligans and pickpockets. Sad.

Thank God I was able to rise above this Manille commuting drama. =)